Love these boys -- so handsome!
Friday, November 28, 2014
family photo shoot
We spent Thanksgiving Day at the Vawdrey's. We had a delicious traditional dinner of turkey, stuffing, potatoes, veggies, rolls and pie. Alan & Heidi's family, Eric & Laura's family, and Aunt Colleen were also there. Before we headed over for dinner, we stopped off at Daybreak so Heidi could take a bunch of photos. Here's a few:
Sunday, November 9, 2014
funeral pictures
Some pictures from the funeral:
Dad chose a beautiful casket for mom -- all the flowers were beautiful. Karen prepared the large sprays -- pink roses, carnations, and lilies.
The display outside the Relief Society room.
I especially enjoyed these pictures of mom as a girl and high school graduate.
The grandsons standing in line waiting to take the casket from the hearse: Robert, Jared, Jack, Mark & Mike.
Brady, Chris, Josh, Jacob, Matthew, & Ryan.
The flower tribute by the grandchildren and children:
Me with my brother and sisters and dad.
Our family.
Our family with Dad.
Aunt Tomie, Uncle Dee, Dad, and Aunt Buhla.
Me with my friend, Carol.
The Brady family -- this is everyone, except David (had to leave early to catch a plane) and Spencer (serving a mission in Norway). What an awesome bunch!
moms funeral
*Note: I didn't write this post until February 2015 -- I back-posted it to November for the sake of keeping things on a timeline. For a multitude of reasons, excuses really, I just couldn't seem to put fingers to keyboard. Unfortunately, details fade... but the whole picture and true memories of the event still stand out and are clear, even if they weren't recorded right away.
The viewing for mom was on Friday evening. Mark & I and the boys headed up to Idaho on Friday afternoon, stopping in Malad at the funeral home on the way. We met Dad, Kathleen & Micheal, and GayLynn there. The mortuary brought Mom's body in to a small room so that we could help put temple clothes on Mom. (The boys stayed in the van) Honestly, I was a little disappointed in Mom's appearance, she didn't quite look like herself, although she still looked very beautiful. I know Dad was really disappointed -- that made me feel sad. I think mostly it was the shape of her mouth that just wasn't quite right. Anyway, it was very apparent (in feeling) that Mom wasn't really there -- it was simply an earthly body. Her true spirit was busy having a delightful reunion somewhere on the other side! Kathleen & I (mostly Kathleen) helped put on the robes and shoes. When we were finished with our time there, we headed on up to Dad's.
Shortly after we got there, food started pouring in from the sisters in the ward! It was wonderful. We all felt very loved. The viewing was at the stake center that evening. Many people came through to pay their respects to Dad and our family. I was especially touched to see a couple of my friends come through the line. It was kind of hard for me to greet people, because my shyness really starts to kick in. I was glad John and my sisters were there beside me! Lots of our own immediate family started coming and it was great to see everyone.
Saturday was the funeral. What a warm and beautiful sunny day -- unseasonably so for November in Idaho! Mom would have liked that! We had a viewing again in the morning before the funeral and wow -- tons of people again! Lots of our extended family had made the journey to be there with us -- the Garn Brady's, the Teicherts, the Dee Jay Brady's, Uncle Joe & Aunt Gay & a few from their family, Kirk (Uncle Rolf's family), Christine (Uncle John's family), and Uncle Fred & Aunt Adohr. It felt good to see everyone! There were also lots and lots of Mom and Dad's temple friends.
After the viewing, all of the family members squeezed together in the Relief Society room for the family prayer. Dad offered the prayer - it was beautiful. Then Dad gave Mom a last kiss, and Kathleen placed the temple veil over Mom's face and the casket was closed. This was hard. We pulled ourselves together and filed out of the room behind the casket as we went into the chapel for the service.
The funeral was a wonderful tribute to Mom! I gave her life sketch. I didn't really want to do this, because I thought I'd just cry and it would be really embarrassing, but I held myself together (til the very end) and I think it turned out well. After all, I got to tell everyone how awesome my mom is!! I am SO glad that Dad asked me to do that. (I'm grateful that Kathleen had put a lot of things together about Mom's life earlier this summer in response to a family reunion program request from Rodney. That made my information-gathering and composition of the sketch so much easier!) After that, John talked, and Uncle Joe talked. What great memories we all shared of our Mother. Michelle and Randy sang a beautiful duet, the great-grandchildren with Matthew and Jacob sang, and then all the grandchildren sang. As a surprise to most all of us, at the end of the service, all the temple workers stood and walked out of the chapel and lined the sidewalk from the door to the hearse in tribute to my mom. Wow! It was so incredibly touching to me! There were so many of them, I wondered if there was anyone to keep the temple open that day -- surely they were all at the funeral!
We drove over to the cemetery in Arimo for the burial. We had a flower tribute where each of us kids and each of the grandchildren placed a flower on the casket to say our final goodbyes. Micheal dedicated Mom's grave. We spent quite a bit of time there visiting with family before heading to the church in Virginia where the Relief Society had prepared a delicious lunch for us. There were a lot of family and friends there. I had a really good visit with my friend Carol Gilbert, who I haven't seen for several years. All of our immediate family, except for Spencer (he's on a mission in Norway), was able to be together at the funeral -- amazing! We took a picture, of course!
After all that we headed back up to Dad's for a couple hours to hang out and visit with everyone before heading back home. A good day, a long day, a sad day, a happy day all in one.
The viewing for mom was on Friday evening. Mark & I and the boys headed up to Idaho on Friday afternoon, stopping in Malad at the funeral home on the way. We met Dad, Kathleen & Micheal, and GayLynn there. The mortuary brought Mom's body in to a small room so that we could help put temple clothes on Mom. (The boys stayed in the van) Honestly, I was a little disappointed in Mom's appearance, she didn't quite look like herself, although she still looked very beautiful. I know Dad was really disappointed -- that made me feel sad. I think mostly it was the shape of her mouth that just wasn't quite right. Anyway, it was very apparent (in feeling) that Mom wasn't really there -- it was simply an earthly body. Her true spirit was busy having a delightful reunion somewhere on the other side! Kathleen & I (mostly Kathleen) helped put on the robes and shoes. When we were finished with our time there, we headed on up to Dad's.
Shortly after we got there, food started pouring in from the sisters in the ward! It was wonderful. We all felt very loved. The viewing was at the stake center that evening. Many people came through to pay their respects to Dad and our family. I was especially touched to see a couple of my friends come through the line. It was kind of hard for me to greet people, because my shyness really starts to kick in. I was glad John and my sisters were there beside me! Lots of our own immediate family started coming and it was great to see everyone.
Saturday was the funeral. What a warm and beautiful sunny day -- unseasonably so for November in Idaho! Mom would have liked that! We had a viewing again in the morning before the funeral and wow -- tons of people again! Lots of our extended family had made the journey to be there with us -- the Garn Brady's, the Teicherts, the Dee Jay Brady's, Uncle Joe & Aunt Gay & a few from their family, Kirk (Uncle Rolf's family), Christine (Uncle John's family), and Uncle Fred & Aunt Adohr. It felt good to see everyone! There were also lots and lots of Mom and Dad's temple friends.
After the viewing, all of the family members squeezed together in the Relief Society room for the family prayer. Dad offered the prayer - it was beautiful. Then Dad gave Mom a last kiss, and Kathleen placed the temple veil over Mom's face and the casket was closed. This was hard. We pulled ourselves together and filed out of the room behind the casket as we went into the chapel for the service.
The funeral was a wonderful tribute to Mom! I gave her life sketch. I didn't really want to do this, because I thought I'd just cry and it would be really embarrassing, but I held myself together (til the very end) and I think it turned out well. After all, I got to tell everyone how awesome my mom is!! I am SO glad that Dad asked me to do that. (I'm grateful that Kathleen had put a lot of things together about Mom's life earlier this summer in response to a family reunion program request from Rodney. That made my information-gathering and composition of the sketch so much easier!) After that, John talked, and Uncle Joe talked. What great memories we all shared of our Mother. Michelle and Randy sang a beautiful duet, the great-grandchildren with Matthew and Jacob sang, and then all the grandchildren sang. As a surprise to most all of us, at the end of the service, all the temple workers stood and walked out of the chapel and lined the sidewalk from the door to the hearse in tribute to my mom. Wow! It was so incredibly touching to me! There were so many of them, I wondered if there was anyone to keep the temple open that day -- surely they were all at the funeral!
We drove over to the cemetery in Arimo for the burial. We had a flower tribute where each of us kids and each of the grandchildren placed a flower on the casket to say our final goodbyes. Micheal dedicated Mom's grave. We spent quite a bit of time there visiting with family before heading to the church in Virginia where the Relief Society had prepared a delicious lunch for us. There were a lot of family and friends there. I had a really good visit with my friend Carol Gilbert, who I haven't seen for several years. All of our immediate family, except for Spencer (he's on a mission in Norway), was able to be together at the funeral -- amazing! We took a picture, of course!
After all that we headed back up to Dad's for a couple hours to hang out and visit with everyone before heading back home. A good day, a long day, a sad day, a happy day all in one.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
mom - next post
*These thoughts or ramblings are not perfect, but just words tumbling out of my mind as I try to put into writing the events of the past couple weeks. I know if I don't put something down now, it will just get harder and harder.
Where to begin, where to begin. I'll just start and work backwards according to memory -- the time has cruised by so quickly! Mom passed away early on the morning of Tuesday, Nov. 4th. Something awoke dad about 1 a.m. and he listened for mom to breathe. Breathing had been difficult and erratic during the day and the few hours before when they had gone to bed. After not hearing her, he checked her and found no pulse or breath, but still warm. She had just passed. I imagine that what "woke" dad, was Mom just letting him know it was her time to go. GayLynn was there that night and helped Dad start the calling. First they called the hospice nurse, Brandie. Brandie came and gave Mom a nice bath and got her dressed before the funeral home came to get her body. Dad and GayLynn went back to bed (but didn't sleep, of course) until about 6 am when dad called Bishop Pope. After that, he called me, around 6:30 a.m. I sobbed pretty hard after the call, then pulled myself together to get the morning going. I told the boys before they went to school. We had been expecting the call anytime, but it sure doesn't make it easier when it comes.
So maybe I'll try to back up a bit and see if I can come up with some sort of timeline of events. Over UEA weekend (Oct 16-18) my family was granted a tender mercy that we didn't really realize till later. Anyway, originally the weekend plans were that Jared & Ryan would be camping and Jacob & Matthew would spend the weekend with G&G Vawdrey, and Mark & I would get away alone together. Then with things going on with Mom we decided that Mark & I and the little boys would go to Idaho for a visit. Then plans fell through for Jared to go camping. Then plans fell through for Ryan to go camping. What we were left with was a family trip to Idaho to Idaho. This would be the last time my boys would see their Grandma Brady in this life. A tender mercy.
We actually decided to try to make the time into a mini-vacation. We picked Kathleen up at the Ogden airport and drove to Idaho on Thursday afternoon and had dinner with Mom, Dad, GayLynn, and Kathleen. We brought some Papa Murphy pizza to make things quick and easy. Mom had been to the doctor in Pocatello that day and was exhausted and wouldn't eat anything. Mom was getting weaker and weaker. We drove on to Idaho Falls that night and stayed at a motel. Friday we went out to Craters of the Moon and up to BYU-I (see another post on this adventure). On Saturday morning we left Idaho Falls and went back to Mom & Dad's for a few hours. It was a beautiful, warm fall day and we decided to have a hot dog roast for lunch. Mom was able to use a walker to get outside and join us at the fire pit. After lunch we visited for a bit and then it was time to head home. Mom was loving being outdoors and when we left she was still sitting outside in the sun. Although weak, she could still visit with us and get around with the walker. Happy memory and tender mercy.
Mom's health took another turn for the worst over the weekend. On Monday, she was signed up for hospice care. That night she nearly fell while using the bathroom. Kathleen decided that she needed to extend her stay for another 3 days. Hospice brought a wheelchair & commode the next day. The following day, hospice brought an oxygen tank, just in case she needed it. Well, that night, she needed it. Tender mercy.
Mom was pretty stable for the next couple days, but continued to get weaker. When I got there on Friday morning (Oct 24), a hospital bed was being delivered and set up so it would be easier to get her up and down. Mom began sleeping most of the time and didn't talk much anymore and when she did, it was hard to understand her. I also think that she stopped eating about this time. I was only there overnight, since GayLynn was there and staying for a few days. On Saturday, Mom had lots of visitors -- Chris & Alisa & their family, Brady & Randi & their family, and Randy & Erica & McKay. Mom was able to say a few things to them and managed to open her eyes for some of the time as well. Tender mercy. Dad needed to have someone with him all the time to help care for mom, so the 3 of us girls took turns being there. Thankfully Kathleen & GayLynn are able to be there much of the time. Tender mercy.
I went up to Idaho again on Wednesday (Oct 29) afternoon and Mark went with me. Mom was spending more time in bed and less in the chair in the office or living room, but we were still able to get her up to the commode. Mom was also developing a bit of a cough that would keep her from resting/sleeping peacefully. On Thursday, the nurse brought some cough medicine for mom. She told us it probably wouldn't taste very good, but would help the cough. I gave some to mom later in the afternoon. As I carefully put some into the side of her cheek, she started to gag and say "ugh" because it was nasty tasting. And then, as as clear as clear could be, she said, "What are you trying to do, kill me?!" Dad, Mark, & I laughed so hard! That was definitely my mom! At a time when we were struggling so much to understand her, it was so comforting to hear her say something so clear! Tender mercy.
That night, Kathleen arrived again. Mom was getting weaker by the hour it seemed. That night as we got Mom from the chair to the commode, to the wheelchair, to her bed, it took all four of us -- Mark, Dad, Kathleen, & me. I was supposed to go home first thing in the morning with Mark, but I knew I just couldn't go. It would take 3 of us to care for mom now. That night was full of hard decisions. First I decided to stay longer and send Mark home as planned. We also decided that Mom would just have to stay in bed from now on. It was too difficult to move her. She couldn't help us by bearing any of her own weight (she's nothing but skin and bone now). This also meant it was time to begin using a diaper. It was so hard for us to take that last bit of independence from her, but we knew it was time for this step. As much as we wrestled with these decisions, by Friday morning we all felt at peace about them. Tender mercy. It was also about this time that Mom stopped drinking.
By Saturday, Dad felt that with the changes we'd made that he and Kathleen could take care of mom and he wanted me to go home. Dad drove me to Tremonton to meet Mark. Dad wanted and needed a break and a chance to get out of the house. I said "bye" to my mom and told her I loved her. I was pretty sure I wouldn't see her again in this life.
Sunday was fast Sunday. Our fast was that Mom would be able to pass on to the other side of the veil quickly. Dad, John, and Mark Bennett (their hometeacher) gave Mom a blessing that day. John and Mark also gave Dad a blessing that day. Our fast was answered as she passed away peacefully early Tuesday morning - November 4, 2014.
Where to begin, where to begin. I'll just start and work backwards according to memory -- the time has cruised by so quickly! Mom passed away early on the morning of Tuesday, Nov. 4th. Something awoke dad about 1 a.m. and he listened for mom to breathe. Breathing had been difficult and erratic during the day and the few hours before when they had gone to bed. After not hearing her, he checked her and found no pulse or breath, but still warm. She had just passed. I imagine that what "woke" dad, was Mom just letting him know it was her time to go. GayLynn was there that night and helped Dad start the calling. First they called the hospice nurse, Brandie. Brandie came and gave Mom a nice bath and got her dressed before the funeral home came to get her body. Dad and GayLynn went back to bed (but didn't sleep, of course) until about 6 am when dad called Bishop Pope. After that, he called me, around 6:30 a.m. I sobbed pretty hard after the call, then pulled myself together to get the morning going. I told the boys before they went to school. We had been expecting the call anytime, but it sure doesn't make it easier when it comes.
So maybe I'll try to back up a bit and see if I can come up with some sort of timeline of events. Over UEA weekend (Oct 16-18) my family was granted a tender mercy that we didn't really realize till later. Anyway, originally the weekend plans were that Jared & Ryan would be camping and Jacob & Matthew would spend the weekend with G&G Vawdrey, and Mark & I would get away alone together. Then with things going on with Mom we decided that Mark & I and the little boys would go to Idaho for a visit. Then plans fell through for Jared to go camping. Then plans fell through for Ryan to go camping. What we were left with was a family trip to Idaho to Idaho. This would be the last time my boys would see their Grandma Brady in this life. A tender mercy.
We actually decided to try to make the time into a mini-vacation. We picked Kathleen up at the Ogden airport and drove to Idaho on Thursday afternoon and had dinner with Mom, Dad, GayLynn, and Kathleen. We brought some Papa Murphy pizza to make things quick and easy. Mom had been to the doctor in Pocatello that day and was exhausted and wouldn't eat anything. Mom was getting weaker and weaker. We drove on to Idaho Falls that night and stayed at a motel. Friday we went out to Craters of the Moon and up to BYU-I (see another post on this adventure). On Saturday morning we left Idaho Falls and went back to Mom & Dad's for a few hours. It was a beautiful, warm fall day and we decided to have a hot dog roast for lunch. Mom was able to use a walker to get outside and join us at the fire pit. After lunch we visited for a bit and then it was time to head home. Mom was loving being outdoors and when we left she was still sitting outside in the sun. Although weak, she could still visit with us and get around with the walker. Happy memory and tender mercy.
Mom's health took another turn for the worst over the weekend. On Monday, she was signed up for hospice care. That night she nearly fell while using the bathroom. Kathleen decided that she needed to extend her stay for another 3 days. Hospice brought a wheelchair & commode the next day. The following day, hospice brought an oxygen tank, just in case she needed it. Well, that night, she needed it. Tender mercy.
Mom was pretty stable for the next couple days, but continued to get weaker. When I got there on Friday morning (Oct 24), a hospital bed was being delivered and set up so it would be easier to get her up and down. Mom began sleeping most of the time and didn't talk much anymore and when she did, it was hard to understand her. I also think that she stopped eating about this time. I was only there overnight, since GayLynn was there and staying for a few days. On Saturday, Mom had lots of visitors -- Chris & Alisa & their family, Brady & Randi & their family, and Randy & Erica & McKay. Mom was able to say a few things to them and managed to open her eyes for some of the time as well. Tender mercy. Dad needed to have someone with him all the time to help care for mom, so the 3 of us girls took turns being there. Thankfully Kathleen & GayLynn are able to be there much of the time. Tender mercy.
I went up to Idaho again on Wednesday (Oct 29) afternoon and Mark went with me. Mom was spending more time in bed and less in the chair in the office or living room, but we were still able to get her up to the commode. Mom was also developing a bit of a cough that would keep her from resting/sleeping peacefully. On Thursday, the nurse brought some cough medicine for mom. She told us it probably wouldn't taste very good, but would help the cough. I gave some to mom later in the afternoon. As I carefully put some into the side of her cheek, she started to gag and say "ugh" because it was nasty tasting. And then, as as clear as clear could be, she said, "What are you trying to do, kill me?!" Dad, Mark, & I laughed so hard! That was definitely my mom! At a time when we were struggling so much to understand her, it was so comforting to hear her say something so clear! Tender mercy.
That night, Kathleen arrived again. Mom was getting weaker by the hour it seemed. That night as we got Mom from the chair to the commode, to the wheelchair, to her bed, it took all four of us -- Mark, Dad, Kathleen, & me. I was supposed to go home first thing in the morning with Mark, but I knew I just couldn't go. It would take 3 of us to care for mom now. That night was full of hard decisions. First I decided to stay longer and send Mark home as planned. We also decided that Mom would just have to stay in bed from now on. It was too difficult to move her. She couldn't help us by bearing any of her own weight (she's nothing but skin and bone now). This also meant it was time to begin using a diaper. It was so hard for us to take that last bit of independence from her, but we knew it was time for this step. As much as we wrestled with these decisions, by Friday morning we all felt at peace about them. Tender mercy. It was also about this time that Mom stopped drinking.
By Saturday, Dad felt that with the changes we'd made that he and Kathleen could take care of mom and he wanted me to go home. Dad drove me to Tremonton to meet Mark. Dad wanted and needed a break and a chance to get out of the house. I said "bye" to my mom and told her I loved her. I was pretty sure I wouldn't see her again in this life.
Sunday was fast Sunday. Our fast was that Mom would be able to pass on to the other side of the veil quickly. Dad, John, and Mark Bennett (their hometeacher) gave Mom a blessing that day. John and Mark also gave Dad a blessing that day. Our fast was answered as she passed away peacefully early Tuesday morning - November 4, 2014.
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